Self-confidence is an attitude. With it, you believe that within reason, you are able to do whatever you want to do. The root of confidence lies within the unconscious, so hypnosis is a great tool for building confidence and control over your life.
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A social phobia is a fear of interacting with others on a social level. Examples would be talking in front of other people, waiting in line at the checkout imagining others are looking at you, or even fear of talking on the phone.
Self-confidence is a feeling that allows people to have positive, yet realistic views of themselves and their circumstances. Self-confident people have confidence in their own abilities, have a general sense of control over their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they want and need to do.
Confidence is a perspective that is accomplished through experiences. When a person experiences success, that person will tend to expect to be successful. And that very expectation will cause a feeling of self-confidence.
For example: A man wants to be a professional boxer, so he gets a manager and takes lessons. His manager will not put him into a bout until he has developed enough proficient fighting skills. And even then, the manager will only put him up against a competitor that he knows his fighter can overpower. When his fighter beats the opponent, he is successful, and starts to gain confidence in his capability.
With each match, the manager puts his prizefighter up against a contender who is a slightly better challenger then the last, but not good enough to beat his man. By the end of the third fight, the young contestant begins to expect to win his fourth, and so his confidence continues to bloom. This series of events continues to repeat itself. And as long as the fighter contestant is victorious, his expectations of success, and his feelings of self-confidence will continue to escalate.
As another example: A young lady who is scared to death of being in high places wants to learn to dive into a swimming pool from a very high diving board. So she finds a diving coach who asks her to take a jump into the pool from the first rung of the ladder going up to the high diving board. The first step of the ladder is not awfully high, so the young lady feels confident, and she dives from that rung, and lands in the water unharmed.
Next, the athletic coach has her take a jump from the second rung of the ladder, and so forth. I assume that you see what’s going on here. With each new step she takes as she climbs higher up the ladder, since the girl was able to jump without fear or harm, and the next higher step is only slightly higher then the last, the fear factor is negligible, and the girl expects to be successful. When she dives in and is unhurt, the girl’s self-confidence increases, and her expectation of success on the next step up the ladder increases.
If a person who has a long history of success and feelings of confidence does fail, they still tend to expect success the next time out. Conversely, when a person who is weak in the self-confidence department fails, they tend to lose confidence, and expect failure, which can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Having true self-confidence doesn’t mean that individuals will be able to do everything. People, who have true self-confidence, usually have expectations that are practical. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be confident and to accept themselves.
People, who are not self-confident, tend to depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel self-confidence. They usually don’t take risks because of the fear of failure. They make light of themselves and tend to discount compliments that they receive.
Conversely, confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they generally have confidence in their own prowess. They acknowledge themselves; and they don’t feel they have to conform in order to be admired.
Just because one feels self-confidence in one or more parts of their life, doesn’t mean that they will feel overconfident in every single part of their life. For example, a person might feel optimistic about their athletic prowess, but not feel confident as far as members of the opposite sex are involved, such as in a dating situation, or social relationships.
HOW IS Self-confidence Initially developed?
Many powerful and effective truths have an impact on the development of self-confidence. Parents’ attitudes are critical to the way children think about themselves, especially in their early years. When parents provide admiration, children receive a solid foundation for self-esteem. If one or both parents are excessively demanding or critical, or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may be fated to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior.
However, if parents encourage a child’s moves toward self-reliance, and they are not overly critical when the child makes mistakes, the child will learn to accept herself, and will be on the way to developing self-confidence.
A lack of confidence is not necessarily related to a lack of ability. A lack of self-confidence is often the result of centering much too strongly on the ridiculous expectancy of other people in particular friends and parents. The control of peers can be more powerful than that of parents in shaping the feelings about one’s self.
Assumptions That Continue to Affect Self-confidence
In response to external influences, people create beliefs. Some of these are helpful and some are not so helpful. Several assumptions that can interfere with self-confidence and positive ways of thinking are:
ASSUMPTION: I must always be successful at every challenge that I undertake. This assumption is a totally unrealistic assumption. In life each person has his strengths and his weaknesses. While it is important to learn to do the best that one can, it is more important to learn to accept yourself as being human, and deficient. Let yourself feel good about what you are good at, and accept the fact that you don’t know everything and you don’t need to.
ASSUMPTION: I must be perfect, and loved by everyone, and satisfy everyone. Again, this assumption is a totally unrealistic assumption. All human beings are less than perfect. It’s well advised to develop personal standards and values that are not very dependent on the approval of other people.
ASSUMPTION: Everything that happened to me in the past remains in control of my feelings and behaviors in the present.
ALTERNATIVE: While it is true that your confidence was especially vulnerable to external influences when you were a child as you gain maturity appreciation and point of view on what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You don’t have to be helpless based on what happened in the past
HERE ARE SOME STRATEGIES FOR DEVELOPING CONFIDENCE
Emphasize Your Strengths. Grant yourself credit for everything that you can do. And bestow upon yourself credit for every new experience you are willing to try.
Take risks. Adopt the attitude of: I never fail, because there are NO failures. However, sometimes I find out what doesn’t work and once I’ve learned what doesn’t work in a given situation, I can test something else.
Use Self-Talk: Use self-talk as a tool to counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to stop. Substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting yourself to be perfect, remind yourself that it is impossible to do everything perfectly, and that it’s only possible to do things to the best of your ability. This allows you to accept yourself as you are working towards improvement.
Make mental movies: Picture yourself in scenes that you currently have low levels of self-confidence in. But see yourself behaving in the way that a person who has tremendous confidence would. There are powerful Self-hypnosis and NLP processes that you can use to instill a sizable amount of self-confidence from within your subconscious mind. There are even NLP techniques that will let you take confidence that you do have in areas of your life, and then transplant that confidence to areas of your life that require more self-confidence!
Self-Evaluate: Learn to judge yourself independently. Refrain from the habitual sense of confusion that comes from relying on the opinions of others.
Want to learn more about hypnosis? Visit my free hypnosis article library.
Alan B. Densky, CH
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/build-your-selfesteem-with-nlp–135956.html
I am a subscriber to this seduction newsletter and it talks about using these things to attract women.
I mean, could it be for real? Can you imagine what it would be like to get girls just by talking in a different way? I can't.
I used hypnosis to solve my confidence problems which allows you to approach more women, but I just can't see how you can use it on other people without them knowing it as they claim it can be used.
My friend told me it's real, but could he just be playing with me?
Oh, this is the newsletter, btw:
http://www.myspace.com/135105387
wave money back and forth in front of their face
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Smoking is a physical craving for nicotine – and to stop smoking means you need to deal with the problem as a psychological issue. Any hypnosis sessions to quit smoking involve suggestions, positive affirmations, and hypnotherapy techniques to help you give up smoking as they put you into an altered state where you are much more susceptible to suggestions.
The positive thoughts are burnt into the smoker’s mind during the session that the smoker has with the hypnotherapist. A sense of disconnection from your present surroundings is a hypnotic trance, if you feel that you are awake and alert. People are said to be in a sense of increased attentiveness, and things can take root more easily – such as the suggestions to stop smoking.
A smoker who visits a hypnotherapist is advised to look into the future – into a situation where there is no cigarette is his hand. The smoker is encouraged to think positively and is made to believe that he can give up smoking. He is repeatedly told of the benefits that result when the cigarette is stubbed out, until the smoker’s mind becomes conditioned to the idea of not smoking.
Once this happens, the smoker’s subconscious mind spurns the idea of smoking whenever the urge arises. This session may be followed by a few more sessions later on, depending on the progress achieved by the smoker. The smoker is also given a CD that carries stop smoking messages. The entire idea is to reinforce the value of giving up smoking.
The hypnotherapist argues that withdrawal symptoms are caused mainly by conditioned responses. The smoker does not make an honest attempt to give up smoking because he consciously believes that it is very difficult to give up smoking. That is why there is no guilt involved when a smoker fails in his attempt. His mind tells him that it was a difficult proposition, and pats him for at least trying.
The hypnotherapist tries to break this mindset by generating new conditioned responses that are positive, and gives the smoker the confidence to give up smoking. A conditioned response may be as simple as pressing the finger with the thumb and holding them together for about half a minute. The smokers are also told to take three deep breaths and drink a glass of water whenever there is an urge to smoke. Invariably, they dilute the smoker’s urge to light a new cigarette.
Mike Singh
http://www.articlesbase.com/quit-smoking-articles/stop-smoking-hypnosis-how-to-quit-smoking-through-hypnosis-86479.html
any sort of hypnosis ie hypnosis for health, loose weight, overcome fears, confidence? does it really work? can you really change your perception of life, worries, food, just by hypnosis or is it just deception or hopeful thinking that you can sort out your life so simply without getting to any underlying problems?
Yes, hypnosis works, take a look at this link!http://science.howstuffworks.com/hypnosis.htm
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NLP hasn’t evolved very far since it was first conceived. As an NLP Trainer with 16 years Coaching and Hypnosis experience, all Jonathan Clark sees is more of the same. So he’s done something about it…
Interviewer: I was so impressed with your skill and depth of knowledge and ability to help people truly change their lives and things have really developed since then, haven’t they, you’ve now developed your own methodology called HGE, it’s a definite breakthrough or progression or evolvement might be a more appropriate word from NLP I think, and its really fascinating to me because I think NLP has done the world an incredible service but at least to me seems to have stopped progressing, but I think certainly what you do Jonathan is a really fresh and by what I’m seeing a more rapid way of truly evolving all these desires we have as human beings in health and relationships, money, business and so its very, very fascinating so you’ve written a book – we are now basically talking about that book or talking about HGE really. Let’s get straight into it, so why don’t you start Jonathan with a brief history of what NLP was and why you got involved, and then what began to frustrate you leading to your own HGE involvement.
Jonathan:Well there’s an old phrase that says that people get into personal development either out of desperation or inspiration and I’ve yet to meet someone who is inspired to do it. I was the shy specky kid with asthma and a duodenal ulcer by the time I was sixteen because I was so scared of talking to people, and I got into it purely because my brother studied psychology and I read all these books and found it fascinating. If I could burn a whole in my stomach with my brain what could I do that was a little bit more useful?
And so I started learning all these things for my benefit – I got into personal development, and found a lot of that stuff was very conscious, very techniquey, very kind of… you had to force yourself to do it, it was like affirmations, telling yourself “you’re happy, you’re happy” when the other part of brain was screaming at you that you’re not happy at all.
So I started to look at Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, hypnosis, life coaching, Feng Shui, energy work, a lot of the people I was listening to had some sort of esoteric discipline as well and in fact if you look at all of the major personal development people, all the big names they all look at some kind of esoteric spirituality aspect and that intrigued me – I thought maybe I’m missing something, maybe there’s a side of life I don’t know anything about, I didn’t ever look at that kind of thing, in fact I poo poo’d it.
NLP I found to be very practical hands on, you could read it and use it the same day – you could fix phobias in under an hour, you could take away nerves, you could make people confident, you could change beliefs, you could do amazing wonderful things in a very short space of time which really blew my head off – the ulcer disappear, my asthma disappeared, I got fitter and healthier, started taking care of my physical body, changed career completely.
Interviewer:Ok and this is all self done.
Jonathan: Incredibly powerful self-work, and I had never seen it fail, I had only ever seen NLP work, so my enthusiasm took off like a house on fire and I started sharing it with people, I started running seminars at weekends, I started working with individuals and because I didn’t know it might not work it always did. After 2 years of working with people in the field, and actually working with exam nerves and phobias and confidence, ME, massive health shifts in people, stuff you wouldn’t believe, transformational health changes, I thought one day somebody might actually ask me for a certificate, or a qualification and because my background was financial services I very much believe in that stuff, I thought right I’m going to have to go and get trained.
Then I discovered that issues would come up with students and the trainers were unable to bail them out, the trainers actually had no field experience, they were textbook perfect but had never worked with people in the real world so I had to keep bailing people out because I had been doing in for two years, and that really was a huge convincer to me about my ability, and it surprised me and also kind of disappointed me as well that the household names in the field weren’t actually up to scratch, in my opinion, I coined a phrase “always a trainer, never a therapist” because they could talk about it, there’s a lot of text book people out there but when it comes to the real world application they just haven’t got the chops for it.
Interviewer:It’s the age old thing about teachers isn’t it?
Jonathan:Correct, as apposed to coaches – Coaches do it. But, so having done that for a while I decided I could help people more than what I am currently doing in my current career, which is a financial advisor, I was getting great results using NLP in the financial services, my sales doubled and my appointments halved, and my managers wondered what I was doing, and all I was doing was some of these techniques, rapport techniques, building connections with people, having people like you and trust you, having two way trust going. I then decided I’m going launch my own business and do this on the side, build it up and then eventually go self-employed. I did that, my income immediately doubled after two months I was working half the hours, and I had always been taught that self-employed businesses fail within the first two year and those that succeed fail within the next two years. I’m helping people and doing something that I felt I was born to do and I’ve basically been doing that ever since. Now I have looked at the current stuff that I’ve been training and thinking this needs to grow and evolve, there are certain things that most personal development areas don’t cover, or there’s certain holes or certain gaps, I’ve plugged them and I now want to get them out to the world.
Interviewer:OK, so now tell us what HGE is and maybe you can preface that by saying what these missing links were that were frustrating you.
Jonathan:Well, what often happens with most technique based skills is that there’s often heart missing, there’s often a kind of humanity aspect, and they become very cold and calculating and very kind of logical and sensible, and for a lot of people that’s not enough, a lot of NLP people are very academic and very much into systems orientation and the way things work, however, for something to give you complete balance, if you really want to be successful in all areas you need to include a more humane, what would you call it . . holistic approach as well, so there has to be some kind of higher purpose, there has to some kind of creativity or inspiration behind it.
It also excluded people who wanted a more spiritual experience, typically if you look at any of the mind disciplines out there they’ll either be very conscious, logical academic or they’ll be very kind of spiritual, esoteric and most people fall into one or the other, what I wanted to do was bridge the gap and explain why both sides have advantages.
Also NLP has been around for a long, long time but it isn’t developing and evolving itself in my opinion, there are too many cliques, too many politics and people arguing who the original inventors were and not enough making it user friendly and making it publicized.
The UK aromatherapy guild released statistics last year to say that 25% of qualified aromatherapists actually earn a living doing it. Coach University recently sent out statistics talking about the 30,000 life coaches on the planet, I think 10% of them make a living from it, and making a living was £15,000 a year or less.
Interviewer:Doesn’t surprise me, is seems that any training method, it’s very few people who actually apply it and actually sustain it.
Jonathan:That’s the problem with most conventional training, it doesn’t do that, what I looked at was answering these niggles that had always been around for me and people would bring these up to me and I had the sort of standard stock party line phrases that everyone else had but I just felt as if I wasn’t walking my talk and I was hypocritical until I got them fixed, so I’ve spent the past sixteen years tweaking this, developing it and answering those questions for myself. I had to fill those holes, and I feel as if I have.
Interviewer:Yeah ok . . . good.
Jonathan:For those of us who want the balance and the success and want to ‘thrive’ instead of just ’survive’, then there’s a kind of four areas you need to look at -there’s four aspects to you, you have a spiritual aspect, you have a mental aspect, you have an emotional aspect and you have a physical aspect, and if you fail to take care of one of those areas in your life . . . it will bite you! It is as simple as that, people who have the money, the toys, the things they want to play with, the supportive environment, the bank account, the relationships and all the external physical tangible things, those are great, but not just on their own. Ideally you also want to have the ability to understand your own emotions and to be able to change your emotions, not be burdened with traumas and hassles from the past, ideally to change that and let it go, also the ability to think flexibly and creatively, so that you can think outside the box and think laterally and come up with solutions to your problems, and also to have the freedom to choose your spirituality or your esoteric development or whatever path you want to follow. I think we all have those four god given rights and the one that you fail to nourish and nurture, is the one ultimately which will come up in your life as a problem.
I think this is the key, I think understanding HGE enables you to understand every other practice discipline, procedure, process, every other ‘ology’ out there. HGE explains the mechanics of how they work, so that’s going to save you a lot of time and money buying useless books or pointless treatments or courses that promise a lot but don’t deliver much. You’ll actually be able to predict and understand how something works and why it works or also predict why it won’t work in advance. I’ve spent 16 years mastering this stuff so you don’t have to. The full story is a free report at http://www.NLPandbeyond.co.uk
Interviewer: Alright, so what’s your universal message, when you say it like that?
Jonathan:You can change anything about yourself that you don’t like and you can have anything that you want. HGE is full of real practical ‘hands on’ go and do this now, you’ve learned about it, now go and do it. If you’re willing to do those things you will get immediate results in your world, that are categorically there in front of you, tangible. And that’s what personal development fans want.
Jonathan Martin Clark
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/revealed-the-truth-about-coaching-hypnosis-nlp-and-how-to-go-beyond-it-160534.html
no body will help me or licence to me
Why do i smell a troll??
Learn to spell and maybe then your confidence will go up.
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Hypnosis is a trance-like state characterized by extreme suggestibility, relaxation and heightened imagination. While the person hypnotized may seem to be asleep, they are actually hyperattentive. It is most often compared to daydreaming, or the feeling of “losing yourself” in a book or movie. You are fully conscious, but you tune out most of the world around you to focus exclusively on just one thing. Have you ever been making a familiar drive, like coming home from work for example, and then suddenly realize you had “zoned out” for the last 15 minutes? If this has happened to you then you have probably experienced a form of self-hypnosis. Our thinking is carried out by the conscious and the sub-conscious mind. Both are important and work hand-in-hand. For instance, as you read this page the information you are reading and actively processing is carried out by the conscious mind, the sub-conscious is doing things like blinking your eyes if they start to dry.
Popular theory is that hypnosis allows us to bypass our conscious mind by deep relaxation and focusing, and interact directly with our sub-conscious. Our conscious mind is still working, we’re still fully aware, it’s just allowing the sub-conscious to take the center-stage. Since the sub-conscious is where memories are stored and physical and emotional sensations are interpreted, by direct interaction you or a clinical hypnotherapist can effect change on behavior. A therapist might counsel an agoraphobic (afraid of the outdoors) for example and find that they had been bitten by a dog once at a park when they were younger. The patients juvenile mind made the association between pain with being outside, perhaps on the first warm day of spring. A therapist counseling a long-term smoker wishing to quit may work with them to alter their perceptions of the nicotine cravings.
Entertainment hypnotist, the ones you see at comedy clubs, pretty much do the same thing. Obviously they’re not going to muck about in your memories, but they might suggest you alter your perception a bit. What they suggest is that you’re the star of the show, without your conscious mind telling you otherwise, your sub-conscious plays along.
In order for someone to be hypnotized they must: 1. Agree to be hypnotized 2. Believe they can be hypnotized 3. Be relaxed. If someone does not meet these criteria no amount of coaxing will get them to succumb. The hypnotist will often test the persons susceptibility first by using minimal relaxation techniques and suggestions. This usually is in the line of “close your eyes, hold out your arms. Imagine your left hand is holding a heavy dictionary, while your right hand is holding onto some helium filled balloons.” The persons whose left arms drop while raising their right arms are therefore more likely to fully imagine what the hypnotist suggests.
To initiate a hypnotic trance, hypnotist will use a variety of methods, including:
1. Fixed Eye Induction Method or fixed gaze induction. The hypnotist will have you focus on an object, candle flame, spot on a wall, etc and focus on this thing to the exclusion of all other thought. This method is also popular with self-hypnosis
2. Rapid Command Method. This method is popular with the stage hypnotist, as it is a quick way to find out if someone is highly susceptible. They issue a series of rapid commands in an authoritative voice. The highly susceptible, whose conscious mind can’t keep up with the commands, will relinquish control.
3. Progressive Relaxation Method and / or Imagery Method. This method is popular with hypnosis cd’s and tapes. It relies on the person closing their eyes and letting a soothing voice describe a relaxing scenario for the person to try to envision.
4. Repetitive Rocking Method or Loss of Balance Method. This method is most often employed by mothers, rocking their babies to sleep, but chances are you’ve experienced this since then if you’ve ever ridden on a jostling train or an open boat.
Better Living Through Hypnosis. You can be hypnotized to improve various aspects of your life such as to lose weight or diet, quit smoking, be more assertive, and have more confidence. With discipline you can improve virtually any aspect of your life and character.
Ed
http://www.articlesbase.com/meditation-articles/better-living-through-hypnosis-94699.html
I was wondering if hypnosis actually works. I have been fighting being really shy, low self confidence and esteem, which results in depression. It sucks to be horrible at dating which seems to be tied in with low self confidence.
So i was wondering if it actually worked? In general my body is always very tense and i find it very difficult to relax. It could be something to do with ADD.
Thanks
Scott
Hypnosis seem to work differently for each person.
It also depends which methods you are using, and if you are using it on yourself, listening to a cd with someone elses voice.
You also have to keep an open mind when doing the session, any critical thinking will get into the way of your progress.
Hypnosis can be really great if used right, of cource the effects can wear of but at least you then have experienced the feeling (of being less shy for example) and will probably be less shy even when the hypnosis have worn of. (because you know there is nothing to be afraid of really)
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Do you find yourself sneakily checking your partner’s phone or mail? Are you forever questioning your loved one on their whereabouts, even if they have just been to the local shop? Do you find yourself tormented by thoughts of your lover with someone else? Well if you do then you will understand just how savage your jealousy can be towards your relationship and how it can take its toll on your partner as well as yourself. Jealousy and insecurity are two massive problems facing our modern day culture and if you are a victim then you are not alone as they are two of the biggest reasons for relationship break-ups and divorce today!
Hello I am hypnotherapist and author of Self Change Hypnosis, Richard MacKenzie and for the past several years I have helped thousands of couples with overcoming jealousy, both through my private hypnotherapy practice and through my products and book. When I first approach the topic of using hypnosis to combat jealousy, people seem a bit puzzled; however it is the ‘common-sense’ approach – what with its speed and efficiency. In fact these same people are very often amazed when they get the results that they yearn for.
While in Hypnosis you will learn to ultimately re-program the part of the brain that is referred to as your sub- conscious or un-conscious mind. This is where the habit and behaviour of jealousy are, so therefore it is the best place to start. After this you can use hypnosis to begin to work on your overall confidence and self esteem levels which will really work for you to get you some great results. Just imagine what life would be like if your jealousy disappeared – How great would your relationship be? How much more secure would you feel, knowing your can accept the wholehearted love of your partner without being suspicious?
If you could achieve all this right now… would you?
Well if you really want help and you desire to get your jealousy sorted then hypnosis or hypnotherapy is just the right thing for you. I recommend that you start with a hypnosis download, recording or seek out your local hypnotherapist who will be more than happy to help you out.
Remember – you are not alone. Thousands of people out there today are in the same boat; however you’re the one reading this so you have a chance to escape your jealousy forever.
Best of luck!
Richard MacKenzie
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/get-rid-of-jealousy-with-hypnosis-134562.html
This site can teach you something VERY different. Something VERY powerful.
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